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A Watchtower Wake Up Story

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JW Story – by Mama Bear Spike

How I was recruited

We had just moved to a new town.  We owned a three-family home.  The first tenant I rented to happened to be one of Jehovah’s Witnesses.  She would talk about the Bible with me.  Having been a Catholic, I knew very little about the Bible.  I wanted to know more about the Bible and enjoyed our discussions.  My tenant invited me to one of her meetings where I met several Witnesses and thought they were very friendly.

One of the women asked if she could sit in on one of our Bible discussions.  When she came she convinced me to have a study with her.  She brought different women with her for the study.  I liked them all.  One of them was my age and also pregnant.  We became good friends.  I became especially close to another woman she brought because that woman did extra research to answer my many questions.

I had gone to the library to find information against the Witnesses.  I knew my family and my husband’s family would not be pleased to hear I was studying with the Witnesses.  I could not find much information.  At that time, we did not have the internet.  We did not even have computers with windows.  Computers were just for businesses then.

As a Catholic I had questions and was told to have faith.  So I liked being able to ask questions.  I remember being told that those from Beroea (Acts 17:11) asked questions of Jesus’ disciples.

There were many things that appealed to me:

There were things that bothered me, but I eventually accepted the explanations:

Of course I was warned ahead of time to expect trouble from family and friends.  When I tried using scriptures to defend my choices, one person even went so far as to say “If you are going to play word games, what even makes you think there is a God.”  That was powerful.  There must be something to this if someone would go to the point of blasphemy to stop me from studying.

But doing God’s will was always important to me.  And somehow, I started believing they had “The Truth.”

But I had three little ones.  Meetings were sometimes challenging.  I had always valued being on time, but with the little ones that now became difficult.  When I was late, I was often marched down to the front rows which made it difficult to get up to take the kids to the bathroom when needed.  It was very embarrassing to say the least.  I guess that was done to deter me from being late.

We had one car and my husband often worked late.  Friends would pick me and the kids up for meetings and bring us home.  Everyone was so nice to us.  When I went out in Field Service the friends would help me with the kids.

We hardly ever missed a meeting.  We were always out in Field Service on Saturdays.

We went to all the conventions and assemblies.  I got out in Field Service at least once during the week.

We went to our assigned hall cleanings and spring cleaning for the Memorial.  We helped with renovations to our hall:  Painting, reupholstering chairs, wallpapering, etc.

We were good obedient Witnesses.

When my children (now four) were all in school, I increased my time in Field Service and would occasionally Auxiliary Pioneer. In time I increased my Auxiliary Pioneering and was working toward becoming a Regular Pioneer. I often had the kids from the hall out in field service with me and my kids.  I tried to encourage everyone to go out more.

I studied the Bible Story Book with my children many times a week.  We would read the stories at bedtime and talk about them.  We eventually studied the Live Forever Book and then the Worship book together.  Three of my children got baptized.  I was really hoping the boys would become Ministerial Servants and eventually Elders.  I was encouraging my daughter to pioneer with me.  I really thought that was a good spiritual goal for them to pursue.

Extracurricular activities are typically off-limits for families of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

But I was a little bit of a rebel.  My husband definitely wanted the kids to go to college and secretly so did I.  I saw many of the friends struggling to make ends meet.  I often thought if one of them had an education and a good-paying job, the other could Pioneer.  The lack of higher education did not sit right with me.  Fortunately all four of my children went to college and got their Bachelor’s Degrees.

I also hated not letting them get involved in after-school activities.  I definitely would have taken them to the games, etc.  But being a good Witness I tried very hard to keep their friendship within the Witness community.  I went out of my way to have their friends over to the house even going and picking them up, and taking my kids to their homes.  And I tried to be careful even in the congregation because not all were considered good association.  I was so judgmental.

We were considered a good example in the congregation and of course were interviewed on stage.  By this time, my husband, despite much objection from his family, had become baptized.  For a brief period of time, we had family studies and went out in Field Service together.  But my husband recognized that this was not “The Truth,” and eventually left.  He made his leaving public and insisted that he be disassociated.

That changed things a lot.  We used to have the friends for meals, but of course we could not do that anymore.  We had to be careful if we did have any of the friends over to do so when he was not around.  Effectively we were punished too.  Oh, the friends felt bad for us and had us over for meals and parties, etc.  But the change was very hard to deal with.

But we still went to all the meetings and were out in Field Service regularly.  I was either conducting or going on a lot of Bible Studies.  One of my sons (SpikeR) was a Ministerial Servant.  He eventually became an Elder and the Coordinator of an elder body.  All of my kids went on many of the quick-builds.  I eventually joined the RBC and went on many quick-builds myself.  I really enjoyed the association and tried to encourage others to join.

Actual pic from a JW building site.

But I saw problems with the RBC (Regional Building Committee) too.  I would see some of the pioneers talking and playing around while many of the older sisters were working very hard.  Also there were many time when we would have to wait for assignments.  This was discouraging because I had so many things I could have been doing at home, etc.  Plus sometimes one elder or overseer would tell you to do something one way and then another would come along and tell you to do it another way.  And they did not want to hear what the first elder had said.

One of the things I liked upon learning “The Truth” was that we are all fellow workers.  That the elders were there to serve – minister means to serve.  But with time I found that not to be so.  There definitely was a hierarchy.  When I saw this, I remembered that even Jesus’ disciples were imperfect and often argued over who was the greatest among them.  So I chalked mistakes up to human imperfection.  But more and more I saw the organization teaching one thing and many times doing another.

But I still wasn’t awake.  I bought the party line.

How Did I Wake Up?

Spike helped.  His life was falling apart around him.  As a Mom, it was killing me.  I tried getting help for him.  You could say I just about turned him in.  I never thought he would leave.  But I was so worried.

I often worked with the CO’s wife and expressed my concerns to her.  I tried getting help from various elders in various Kingdom Halls.  But during this time due to minor health problems of my own, and ongoing electrical and other problems at my house, I started missing meetings.  Of course, I listened in on the tie-line.  But missing meeting gave me time to do research to help Spike.  I wanted information to show that the organization was right about 1914.  That really opened a can of worms.

I tried to avoid what would be considered apostate sites by the organization.  I thought I could just find historical evidence that would agree with the WaterTower and Bible Tract Societies literature.  Of course that did not happen.

I really struggled as I dug deeper.  I did not want to leave the organization and I did not want my son to leave.  But the evidence was mounting and I was becoming enraged by the things I was learning.  I was still going to meetings and out in Field Service, but less and less.

Let me say here that I love the friends.  I think most of them are sincere.  I think some who no longer believe stay in the organization and go to meetings or at least the Memorial because of family ties.  The disfellowshipping policy is a strong deterrent to leaving.

The things that bothered me and caused me to stay away

This has been my journey

Each person has to decide for themselves what they will do.  Thankfully there is now a wealth of information available for those wanting to do research before making any decisions.  You do not have to look at so-called apostate literature.  Just look at older books and magazines to see the inconsistencies.

Things that helped me were

Other books that helped that would not be considered apostate are:

Remember the Bible encourages us to “keep making sure” we are in the truth, to use our powers of discernment.  We do have the internet now and there is a wealth of information available.  There are actual letters to and from the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society showing the inconsistencies.  Several scriptures in the Bible tell us “to keep seeking and you will find.”

God wants us to know him.  If you are making this journey, I hope that this is helpful to you.

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